Tag Archives: update

The would/should have been due date

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moving on

Yesterday was my would have been (or in my mind should have been) due date. It was a day I feared. After my miscarriage in June it was a date I obsessed about. I was worried about how I was going to feel – would I be able to get out of bed, would I be a cranky jerk all day, would I ever be able to stop the tears from flowing, how was I going to get through the day?

To my surprise, the day past with less emotional turmoil than I had anticipated. Don’t get me wrong – I thought about it almost constantly. I managed to get through 1/2 a day at work, a short yoga class and a naturopath/acupuncture appointment. Some tears were shed (ok maybe a few times) but overall I feel like I managed the day way better than I was anticipating.

It is almost as if it has sunk in more today. I have been doing chores around the house all day because if I sit still for more than a few minutes my mind just spins with the “I should be in the hospital delivering our baby right now”. That leads to tears and feeling like I’ve been punched in the gut.

Today is my dad’s 60th birthday so we are all getting together for that tonight – I’m hoping that will keep my mind occupied for the rest of today.

I feel like I have been a very bad blogger lately. I haven’t been posting much lately, I think for many reasons. I haven’t had too many updates, the holidays were really hard this year and I didn’t want to be a downer, and it’s just been a bit tough starting to think about our next cycle. I have been keeping up with reading other’s posts – I’m so happy for many of you that have exciting things happening. For others who are still struggle – I’m thinking of you and wishing you nothing but peace and finding your happiness soon.

So here are a few updates about where we are:

  • I started seeing a new naturopath who I really like. I’m taking some more supplements which have really increased my energy
  • I started doing acupuncture – I only go every 2 weeks right now but will increase with my next IVF cycle. It’s not as bad as I anticipated. I learned the hard way that I can’t look at the needles but other than that it’s good!
  • I’m still working out and going to the gym but not as faithful as a few months ago
  • I started doing lunch time yoga and I really like it. The classes are short but it’s a really go break in the middle of the day.
  • We are starting a fresh IVF cycle in about a week’s time. We have to go on Wednesday to sigh all the forms again and then waiting for CD1 later in the week.

I’m really looking forward to getting the next cycle started but also a bit anxious/nervous.

I think that is all for now. Really will try to be more consistent with my posts going forward!